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Notes from a Pom is my personal weblog. It is written, edited, produced and sometimes spell checked by Fergus Stevens.

This website will feature my personal musings, travelog, photos and random crap that motivates me to maintain these pages. You should not expect regular entries as at heart I am a lazy bastard.

I welcome any suggestions or comments, so please get in touch.

Sincearly
Fergus Stevens

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Notes from a Pom

words and pictures from an brit downunder
Southern Thailand, Malaysia, and Singapore

After my adventures in Bangkok, I got in a bus back up to Chang Mai that evening.

I really enjoyed myself in Chang Mai before and was determined to do so again, and see some more of the city. The main reason for the trip was for self improvement, I was going to learn a little about Thai Cookery, and a fair amount of Thai Massage. It was the festival of ‘Yee Peng’ when I arrived, and all day and all night the sound of fire works breaks the air. During the day, it is relatively quiet with a stray firework being lit on average once a minute, usually by one of the monks. In the evening however all hell breaks loose, with informal recreations of battles raging round you constantly. You head home after getting caught in the thick of it with a case of shell shock. Your ears are ringing, the smell of gun powder clogs the nose and you can't quite remember the way home as you are now feeling quite dazed and confused. The festival lasted 3 days and to tell you the truth it was a relief when it was all over.

I decided that I had better brush up on my culinary skills as I have not cooked for myself since leaving on this trip. There is little point in me trying as it is more expensive and wasteful, if it is even possible, for for me to cook than it is to go to a restaurant or eat in the hotels here. The cooking course was a lot of fun, as we learnt to whip up six good dishes. The real question is if I am still able to make spring rolls, and Pad Thai, as They would be very useful.

The Massage course was really rewarding and I was given one to one tuition eight hours a day for three days. By the end of it my hands were hurting and I needed a massage myself. I learnt a lot in a short period of time and completed round about 25 hours of massages before being let out to try this in the real world. And just a few days later I had a few victims to try out my skills on.

My last day in Chang Mai I visited Doi Sutep which is on a hill 16 km from town. I though that this would make a nice stroll for the morning.

It was quite a bit harder than I had imagined and by the end of it was simply dripping in sweat in the hot and humid air. As card and trucks passed my you could see the drivers and passengers shake their heads at me with pity, while others laughed. I think they thought I was mad, and three hours, a blister and three litres of water later I was inclined to agree with them. The temple itself was a glittering golden structure that shines on the top of the hill overlooking Chang Mai with friendly monks who seem to enjoy talking to stupid tourists who know very little about Buddhism.

After my educational experience in Chang Mai I decided it was defiantly time to see a beach or two. Krabi on the Andaman Sea is in the South West of Thailand and at this time of year is one of the driest places. I met up with wolf again here, and headed off down to Riley Beach where all the climbers show off their stuff on some of the most stunning sea cliffs I have ever seen. I was not feeling the need to be humiliated at that point and, so just wondered around and did my own thing. One of the best things was if you found the scrabbling route up behind one of the cliffs on East Riley you could make you way fairly easily up to the top of the cliff which was around 4 times higher than the climbers were getting up to. You got some fantastic views across all three beaches, and up the coast either side as well. After a few nights in my little bungalow. I was time to move on, so I went just a little bit round the coast to Ton Sai Beach.

Here the rocks were no longer vertical but curled right overhead. The good climbers from the previous beach here was replaces by trainee spidermen. Clinging to surfaces that were parallel to the ground in a manner that seemed to defy gravity. I could not even manage to make one move up the cliff before I realised that I just was not cut out for that kind of sport. At least for the time being.

I left wolf again, happy as Larry and headed across to Ko Phi Phi. The island where the fill the Beach was filmed. It was however a disappointment and was far from being the tropical utopia that was portrayed. It had more of the feeling of Benidorm, and the accommodation was all very expensive. After just a single night there, I was on the move again on to Ko Lanta, which was for me at any rate a utopia. Wide open and empty beaches, relaxed evenings and I had a beautiful bamboo bungalow all to myself.

Time just seemed to flow effortlessly there and before I knew it I had to make my way down to Singapore to catch a flight to Australia.

I headed out to Kuala Lumpur in Malaysia, ad arrive in the middle of a big festival. With just 12 hours there I knew that I had to move on to Singapore as all the trains, and busses were booked up for the following day which was my last full day in Asia. So the same evening I arrived I was back on a bus. Having spent the previous 24 hours on the bus I was not that happy to be on the move again, but needs must.

Singapore was quite a change to the rest of Asia, in that it was possible for me to drink the water and every where was clean. But at the end of the day it is just another city, albite hot and humid, and only 100km north of the equator.

So not a very good tale today, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles.

A Bangkok Scam
Well this next round of my little story starts off within five minutes ofme sending my last little message to you.

On leaving the Internet Cafe I little man stops and chats to me in the street as naturally as a cow chews the cud. We chat for 5 minutes or so and he asks me where I was from. I tell him that I was from Scotland, and he exclaims that his daughter was going to Scotland soon to be a nurse. He asked if it would be OK if I spoke with her about Scotland to help her get prepared for her move. I have to say at this I as a little suspicious, but agreed as it is nice to help where you can.

As soon as I agree, he flags down a taxi and he jumps in, with myself following a little more slowly. We drive out of town towards the airport, and something in my head was buzzing and saying 'Keep your wits about you'. I was paying attention to all the road signs and looking for land marks of which there were plenty. We arrive at what was supposed to be his house but had now become the flat of his brother-in-law and get out of the taxi only after I had paid for it.

The flat was nice and the patter of speech in English I could tell was for my benefit to try and relax me. It did the opposite, and watching those two guys explain the daughter was still at the hospital tending to her sick grandmother was like watching a spoof of a badly acted soap opera. Anyway the offered me a cup of coffee, which I accepted, but should not have thinking about it. (Drugging is known to happen) They said she should not be too much longer and did I know how to play cards. The buzzing in my head earlier had now become a chain saw and I could almost guess what was about to happen.

We went through into the next room another was a little card table set up and ready to go. After I sat down, he explained this method of cheating at cards, using a combination of hand signals. The second he finished, the phone rang and the best part to the soap was about to begin. It turns out that this friend from Jordan had just arrived at the Airport and wanted to do a little bit of gambling, in fact he wanted to do a lot. He I was told had just made $38,000 and why did we not try and take some of this off him and split the money.

He hands me $250 to play with and as much as I try and give it back he is insistent. I get the feeling I was being a hard customer, by not already handing over a big chunk of notes. Anyway that second his friend from Jordan walks in and introduces himself in a strong Thai accent and slaps US$2000 on the table to buy some chips.

It was at this point I started to wonder if I was going to get out ofthis one alive let alone with any money. I started to sweat in the coolair conditioned room. Play commences and I am winning but refuse to touchthe cards my self as I do not want to get involved anymore than Icurrently am. Play continues, and I am really starting to feel sick nowas I feel like I am starting to fall down a long dark slippery hole.

We get to a point in the game where there is more than $1000 dollars on the table and all that is needed for me to win is $20. When I as that I am sorry and cant put the money in, play immediately stopped, and the guy from Jordan walks out with hardly a word. The uncle says that he does not blame me for the loss. I I’m promptly told the daughter is not coming and I am more or less shown straight out the door.

A wave of relief swept over as I got out and found my way back to a taxi. The little guy with the non-existent daughter followed me back and was trying to back up his story all the way back. I toyed with the idea of getting the taxi to take me to the police, but I realised, that the little guy could get nasty, or the police would be completely ineffectual.

So what’s the conclusion? Don’t get in cars with strange men is one. Keepyour wits about you, another. And finally there is always another scamaround the corner in Bangkok.